To the Class of 2020: We Can Overcome
Danielle Wong is a 2020 graduating senior at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn, and writes for Call to Mind. • Photo Courtesy of Danielle Wong
Trigger Warning: References to sexual assault.
When I first started college, I was that girl.
That girl who had meticulously planned out her life. That girl who had earned the privilege of having a four-year full tuition scholarship. That girl who knew exactly what she wanted to be (a multilingual international journalist, in case you were wondering) and that girl who thought she had college all figured out.
But, there are no textbooks, no syllabi, no ways to plan for the unexpected.
In the spring semester of my freshman year, I was sexually assaulted by someone I had considered to be one of my best friends. Suddenly, I didn’t have it all figured out. I didn’t think anyone wanted to hear, much less believe, what had happened so I kept my mouth shut.
For months, I had to smile at, sing with and hug the person who had made me feel powerless, and over time it felt easier to swallow my trauma instead of addressing it. But, the thing about trauma is the more you internalize it, the more pervasive it gets.
Sophomore year, I experienced the worst depression and burn out of my entire college career; I was struggling academically and searching for something meaningful when everything felt meaningless. Even when I was recognized by my peers and my university for my advocacy work, my ever-present imposter syndrome kept me from celebrating.
As a junior, I finally started learning how to put myself first. I wasn’t perfect at it, but I started with small steps, like going to therapy. I was clinically diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety and PTSD -- I can’t even begin to describe how freeing it was to put a name on things I had quietly suffered with for years.
In the second half of my junior year, I studied abroad. For the first time in months, I knew what it felt like to truly feel alive and whole. I came back for the start of my senior year more confident than ever in who I was and what I was worth.
But, just when I thought I had finally figured out college again and found the people I would spend the rest of my life with, COVID-19 hit. Everything we thought our senior year would be – disappeared in the blink of an eye.
I wish I had the perfect words to share with the rest of the Class of 2020, but I don’t. There are no words that come close to encompassing the unprecedented time we find ourselves in, and there are no words that can comfort the unique pain and sadness each of us are experiencing from afar. It feels like our ceremonies came to an unceremonious end before they could even begin, a loss of a milestone that we’ve spent our lifetimes working toward.
Just remember this: every single one of us has experienced some form of hardship, and over the course of our academic careers, we’ve overcome.
We’ve turned the most tough-to-swallow encounters into moments of humility, learning and growth. Out of trauma, loss and pain, we’ve created healing, compassion and community. We pushed each other to be better, to strive higher. Above all else, when the world felt like it was falling apart – and let’s be honest, it’s felt like that a lot these last few years – we’ve always had each other’s back.
For so many of us, this degree, this recognition isn’t just for ourselves. It’s for our parents, our guardians, and our chosen families; it’s for our teachers and professors and our mentors who have invested themselves in our success; it’s for our friends who have stuck by our side through thick and thin. And, that’s part of what makes the loss of a graduation ceremony so hard to stomach.
But, make no mistake – this loss does not define our high school or college career. It does not diminish the impact we have made because our legacy is real – and will continue to be felt – for years to come. So celebrate the many things we’ve been able to accomplish despite everything we’ve been through, and celebrate them often.
In Chinese, we have a proverb that says: 千里之行，始於足下. It means, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Maybe this isn’t the step we thought we would be taking, but at least we’re here taking it together. So, to the Class of 2020, thank you for the memories. Here’s to a thousand more.
Danielle Wong is a 2020 graduating senior at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn, and writes for Call to Mind.